Fifty Greatest Misses

50 of my songs and stories written during and about my 50+ years living, so far...

Disclaimer... The artist (me) wishes to excuse some of the following... the crackle, cackle, buzz and pop, lazy lyrics and piquant pitching, bitching, scandal and slander. Any similarity to anyone alive or dead is occasionally unintentional.


12. Stabbed 13. Till The Morning Comes 14. Monkey

And Halloween is already upon us… so I trawled through the bag of greatest misses to find something suitably ghoulish… I found 3 candidates. They fall neatly into 3 of the main revenge fantasy categories… Victim fantasy, murder fantasy and a personal fav Power!

gimme

12. Stabbed.
S.Rhatigan/J.F Morrison © 1997

This little country/slasher tune was inspired by some pretty extreme revenge/victim fantasies … The kind of fantasy a person might indulge in after they had been royally dumped.  Come on you’ve done it haven’t you?  Imagined you are the ultimate victim, literally killed by the betrayal, rejection whatever?  Haven’t you scripted your own funeral?  No?  You’ve never pictured your ex weeping by the graveside guilt ridden, devastated, while you haunt your old life from beyond?  Come on really?

So it’s just me then… 

Stabbed was a firm favourite in our live set around 97/98 so we put it on the ill fated Big Stick mini Album..  I say ill fated because we didn’t succeed in getting distribution for it so it was only  available at gigs or mail order.   Do you have one of these extremely rare Cdrs?  Not to worry, I will soon upload Big Stick and DIY to Bandcamp for download. JMJ how long have I been promising that!

Suzanne Rhatigan Vocals, guitar, Casio…
John Morrison Bass…
Bryn Burrows Drums…

Or

13. Till The Morning Comes
S.Rhatigan/J.F Morrison © 2000

A murder Ballad

Till The Morning comes is not so much a revenge story as a pre-emptive strike!  In hindsight I can think of a few situations where I should have spotted the trouble coming down the line and made my exit far sooner than I did.  A pre-emptive strike might have been a good course of action in one particular relationship which springs to mind, however I did get an opportunity to get some payback…

An ex of mine had been behaving rather badly while I was away on tour, which I pretty much knew to be the case. When I returned my flat was upside down, said ex told me thieves had broken in and trashed the place, apparently all they took was his video camera and some cash. I didn’t believe a word but could do nothing to disprove it… Some months later when I finally copped on and rid myself of the particular individual, I returned to the house we then shared while he was away to pick up some belongings I had left behind . There sitting on the table was the missing video camera. I couldn’t resist, I had a little look at the video inside.  Perhaps it would be footage of happier times we had apparently had. But no, I was treated to a home-porn-movie, starring the man himself, attempting to retain an erection with a head full of coke, while some woman, couldn’t say for sure if she was professional, was fluffing him up so to speak. In a moment of complete clarity I turned the camera onto myself pressed the record button and laughed leaving a little message something along the lines of, “you sad fucker”… 

It was maybe 5 years later I had a voice mail from the poor chap obviously watching back over his performance, quite perplexed and indignant, to say the least! Alls fair in love. 

Suzanne Rhatigan Vocals, guitar, Casio…
John Morrison Bass, Electro niggles…

and…

14. Monkey
S.Rhatigan/J.F Morrison © 1999

One of my favourite revenge fantasies.  Power.  I’ll show you, when my luck changes when I get my chance I’ll dole out punishment you deserve… In reality of course when that day comes you probably won’t be bothered and maybe that’s the best revenge of all!

We had great fun playing around with John’s old Watkins Copicat at that time, which features on this track.  It was horrendously unreliable, in fairness it was about 30 years old at that time and was held together with gaffer tape and elastic bands.  I was often at Charlie Watkins workshop in deepest South London with pieces of the Copicat which he always managed to repair till the next gig when it would invariably fall apart again.  One memorable visit was with my friends from Electroscope, John Cavanagh and Gayle Brogan, both vintage electronica buffs. John Cavanagh gave us our only BBC Radio One Session on his Rock Show after Late Developer was released, which was how we 1st met and became friends… Anyway, they were chuffed to meet Charlie, for them it was a bit like being a One Direction Fan asked in for tea by Harry or Niall or whoever’s mammy…. Charlie was in his eighties then, still making ground breaking electronic equipment.  His big thing when last I saw him was a midi accordion!!!???

BTW Monkey was released on a fanzine compilation record, can’t find the record don’t remember the name of the fanzine… anyone out there know?

Also Rhatigan and Electroscope released a single on Lissy Records called Unhappy Soul.  Truly a vinyl rarity, have you got it?

Suzanne Rhatigan Vocals, guitar, Casio…
John Morrison Bass…
Paul Murphy Drums…

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5 thoughts on “12. Stabbed 13. Till The Morning Comes 14. Monkey

  1. Oh I love this. Love that haunting tone….says it all. Yes they say the best revenge is to live well. But, I must tell you this little ditty. In 1992 when I entered AA, I met an old friend and from time to time we’d have a coffee, on the odd occasion he’d pay for it, I had nothing at the time. Skip to a good few years later and finally I had that book published. I had a bit of a set to with this person who was (as I am sure you will have experienced), simply green with envy. They complained in a text that I ‘Hadn’t paid for some cups of coffee years prior’. I was so shocked at this, seriously taken aback of how petty and horrible it was. I thought about it for a few days, then I went and bought the biggest mother-fucker of a card I could find with a huge bit ‘SORRY’ on the front, you know the type, inside I apologized profusely for the oversight of the coffee and hoped he would forgive me. I wrote a cheque for €2.85 and slipped it into the envelope, saying I hoped it covered the cost of said coffee, and if I had left him short in any way to not hesitate in contacting me and I would reimburse him further. I can’t tell you what satisfaction this gave me! Muahahahahaha. P.s. Love this song song and its rather menacing tone xxx

      • Ha just remembered one of my all time favorite pay back moments… An ex of mine who shall remain nameless had been behaving rather badly while I was away on tour, which I pretty much knew to be the case… When I returned my flat was upside down said ex told me someone had broken in and trashed the place, apparently all they took was his video camera and some cash. I didn’t believe a word but could do nothing to disprove it… Some months later when I finally copped on and rid myself of the particular person I returned to the house we then shared, while he was away, to pick up some belongings I had left behind . There sitting on the table was the missing video camera. I couldn’t resist , I had a little look at the video inside perhaps it was footage of happier times we apparently had. But no, I was treated to a home made porn movie. Starring yep the man himself attempting to retain an erection with a head full of coke while some woman, couldn’t say for sure if she was professional, was fluffing him up so to speak. In a moment of complete clarity I turned the camera onto myself and laughed leaving a little message something along the lines of “you sad fucker”… It was maybe 5 years later when I had a voicemail from the poor chap obviously watching back over his performance, quite perplexed and indignant, to say the least! Alls fair in love and war….

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